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Home » Online Dating. What worked for you last year might not work for you this year.
As anyone who's tried dating apps knows, it can be tough to meet someone on the world wide web — not that meeting people "in real life" doesn't come with its fair share of challenges.
One of the biggest struggles people can have is navigating communication with someone whose cues are a little tougher to discern from behind a screen, and that's where it would be so handy to have a list of online dating etiquette to follow. And while everyone has their own preferences, some dating experts actually have sorted out some do's and don'ts that make a good rule of thumb to follow if you're not quite sure how to spark a conversation or make sure you're on the same while respecting each other's boundaries.
A bad online date or interaction can make some people just want to quit apps altogetherbut what if you were able to lessen your chances of an awkward first encounter before you even started a conversation? Paulette Shermana psychologist and author of Facebook Dating: From 1st Date to SoulMatehas devoted a good amount of her practice of late to helping people navigate the world of online datingand she's made note of some of the most effective — and ineffective — ways to go about it.
So if you've yet to have luck and land a truly great date via apps, read ahead to find her suggestions for how to politely, respectfully, and effectively pursue romantic interests online. When it comes to starting the conversation, Dr. Sherman believes the best route is to connect on a common interest, or at least show you've paid attention to theirs.
Even in your profile you can ask a question, which some people call a 'call to action. Before you guys really get to know each other, it's best to keep things relatively light and fun.
Ever started chatting with a prospective date in an app and then cut to months later and you still have yet to meet? It's more common than you probably think. And while Dr. Sherman notes that some people feel more comfortable taking their time before meeting up in real life, if you're feeling frustrated and stuck in pen pal world, you have every right to be upfront and clear about your interest to get together sooner rather than later.
The dating expert believes that after exchanging three or four messages is a fair time to bring up the issue of hanging out, if you're feeling comfortable. You just want to make each other feel at ease and gage some initial interest and commonalities. Yes, you can and should have deal breakers — but bringing up something like having kids before you even have a first date can feel a little aggressive.
That said, Dr. Sherman advises putting anything that's crucial in your profile, so you can avoid the potential awkwardness of bringing it up while still clearly communicate your needs. However, Dr. Sherman does suggest if one of your deal breakers isn't clearly indicated on their end, allow yourself to go on a date or two and ask in person, versus in your initial pre-date chat. By Ashley Tibbits.
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