6 tips to get a guy to notice you
Jorge's relationship advice is based on experience and observation. Let his trial and error be your success hopefully.
Read on to learn some great ideas for how to get him to start paying attention to you again. So the guy you like—your boyfriend, your crush, whoever—has suddenly lost interest in you. He seemed to like you before, but now he's less enthusiastic, and you'd like to get his attention back without being too pushy. This is a pretty common situation to be in. Love is a weird thing. Our feelings for people often come in waves that rise and fall at random.
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You've probably experienced this yourself: Have you ever liked someone and then suddenly, out of the blue, all of your feelings went away? Was it like the hormones just stopped flowing? Well, put yourself in his shoes. He's probably going through something similar. It doesn't even necessarily mean that something you said or did turned him off. The feelings could have just randomly waned on their own. The early stage of romance is a fickle place to be. So, what do you do about it? How do you get his attention back?
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While there are no guarantees, here are some ways that you can encourage him to look your way again. Are you struggling with how to get his attention back after the feelings have started to taper off? In the early stages of a romantic connection, what turns people off the most is desperation and neediness.
Maybe you don't see it that way, but sometimes being too accommodating and agreeable can send the al that you're needy.
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Does this mean that you have to be a horrible shrew? Of course not.
There's nothing wrong with being nice—however, when you compromise certain things like your values, your priorities, and your boundaries to the other person, it will ironically often make them less interested. For example, let's say that you make it clear that you don't eat shrimp because you believe that they're sentient beings.
In other words, it's against your ethics to eat them. Let's say that the guy you like knows this and offers a nice shrimp cocktail to you anyway. Not wanting to turn him down, you eat them. This is being overly accommodating.
In the moment, he may be happy that you accepted, but in general, you're aling that you're so desperate to please a guy that you have no standards. But if you stop doing the things for him that you once did, he might start to take notice. Try saying "no" to him next time he asks you for a favor. Context is everything. If he's always in a bad mood in an environment he hates when he sees you, he may come to quickly associate you with it.
For example, did you meet at work and he doesn't like his job? Why would he want to solidify his ties to his job even more by dating someone that he met there? So he can talk about work even when he's out on a date? Make sure that you see him outside of this environment.
Invite him out somewhere as "friends" where you know that he'll have a good time. If he associates you with a fun night out instead of tedium, then you're more likely to get his attention back.
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If so, you might not have even noticed that you turned him off. Many times, we're habituated to certain conversation patterns and we might not even realize that what we say is negative. Think back to how you talk to him. Do you think he leaves the conversation feeling good? Or is he drained?
Did he laugh while you talked, or did the two of you just rant about all the bad things that happened at work or school? You know what turns a guy off faster than smelly breath or a bushy armpit? The weird sense that a girl is expecting something from him or wants something from him, besides just a fun, light-hearted connection.
These ulterior motives can take many forms. Make sure that you don't secretly want to take advantage of:. Sure, it might be normal for a woman to be attracted to a man partially because of his social status and success. That's just biology. But if a part of you is scheming about how you can use these perks, he'll probably sense your social vampirism right away. Make sure that you are interested in this guy simply because you're interested in who he is. If you want him for anything else, he's sure to get turned off eventually—unless he's desperate himself.
Give the gift of your friendship freely, without wanting anything. The "wanting" scares people away. It's easy for people to say, "It's what's inside that counts! Maybe you would date a guy who is just okay-looking, and as long as he is confident and successful, you don't really care if he is ripped and has 6-pack abs. The equivalent is not really true for guys. The first requirement for most guys is that you are physically attractive. Without that, you are just friends.
Now, does this mean that you have to be a beauty queen? While your appearance is important, different men value different physical traits on a woman. Also, you don't have to be perfect in his eyes, either. You just have to be attractive enough to arouse him, that's all. What does this mean in practice?
Well, consider whether your appearance has changed lately in a way that he may find unattractive. While I don't recommend changing the way you look just to appeal to a particular guy this is an unwinnable gameit may shed some light on why he lost interest. Also, there's nothing wrong with sprucing yourself up a bit and ditching the frumpy sweatpants when you're around him. In the later stages of a relationship, your appearance will matter less.
If you're trying to get his initial attention though, you'll have to consider these "superficial" factors. In a casual way, invite him out to interesting places. Take an active role in getting him to spend time with you and don't wait for him to ask.
Many times, when we spend a long time away from someone in the early stages of romance, the feelings can kind of fizzle out. Keep his interest alive by seeing him regularly. Of course, this doesn't mean stalking him and always being around him. You do need space, or else he'll feel suffocated. Seeing him a few times a week is more than enough, but you might have to cut down your invitations if he's particularly introverted.
Spending time together, especially alone, can help you inch closer together. If you only ever hang out in groups, there may be parts of each other that neither of you is seeing. These deeper pieces of the vulnerable self are what we're really looking for in each other when we make a connection, whether we realize it or not. People are often afraid of showing this side of themselves around other people, so make sure that you see him alone. While it's not a good idea to actively try to "make him jealous," since it can backfire spectacularly, nothing moves a potential lover to action more than seeing you with someone else.
If he really isn't into you, then he'll probably be happy for you and not seem bothered at all. There's nothing you can do in that case. However, if he likes you, but was just kind of on the fence about dating you, he might suddenly be interested again when you're getting touchy-feely with others.