I was a Basic Bitch. I was surrounded by Basic Bitches. I had the Basic Bitch virusand somehow, I was cured, and I survived. I know the Basic Bitch.
I know her territory, likes, interests and background. The thing is, I think everyone is getting the Basic Bitch wrong. Caffeine, obvs.
And yes, some of these things are useful heuristics. But with the sheer of Basic Bitches items—and multiplying— everyone likes something that is basic. I, for example, go to Soul Cycle. I also sometimes like to eat arugula sal with goat cheese. I love rooftops. I try to eat kale more often.
All my friends have a little basic in them, too. A certain founder of a certain startup revealed the other night that she likes the show Revenge. People have been describing Basic Bitches as sort of naive, hapless and harmless victims of their own ignorance. Hold on, I need to take some deep breaths because my hands are shaking. I feel strongly about this. OK, ready to go on. Symptoms of the larger problem, if you will. She sucks because she likes boring things, and she is on a campaign to tear down anyone that has the audacity to like interesting, new, different, intelligent, serious things.
Basic Bitch: A female who hates and is on a mission to destroy anything or anyone different than her.
Whenever someone is a complete and utter dick to me, I try to see it from their perspective. But Basic Bitches deserve my lifelong derision and ire. Because Basic Bitches have been calling people names—slut, whore, weirdo, creep, nerd, annoying, ugly, terrible, fat—all their life. Basic Bitches are all those girls in high school in college that told you you were weird.
You want to take a picture of her doing something besides the sorority squat, because you have an interest in art. She disagrees. Sorority squats every. And by the way, she untagged every photo of her that is not from that perfect angle because, ew, art.
The Basic Bitch is the one that relentlessly derided you for dating a foreigner. Nevermind it was the best sex of your life. And is a slut. The Basic Bitch also made you feel terrible for interacting with non-Basic Bitches. Basic Bitches strongly believe in the idea of social cooties. That if you interact with someone who is not super-basic, you will catch the nerd virus and your life will be utterly ruined. You interact with only Basic Bitches who make you feel like shit, but if you interact with anyone who is authentic and accepting, your Basic Bitch friends will make you feel even more like shit.
The Basic Bitch is like an emotionally abusive boyfriend. Says she loves you, but really just wants to control you by tearing your self esteem up into little pieces on an almost daily basis. Do I have a chip on my shoulder?
Why yes, yes I do. In fact, I was a Basic Bitch myself. I was born a curious person. As a kid, I tramped around in the woods at least three times a week. I read anything I could get my hands on, starting with the political cartoons in Newsweek when I was 6 years old. I loved art class and when we went on family vacation, I carried my art kit with me. I dressed however I pleased, and fought back against my sister when she tried to teach me how to pluck my eyebrows.
Sooo whatchu telling us for?
I think I was literally the least popular girl in my class in 5th grade, and it was fine. Then, I caught the Basic Bitch bug in 6th grade. In high school, I layered on the polos and pearls and flipped around in my Rainbow sandals and listened to country. I just wanted people to like me, and if I acted exactly like them, maybe they would!
I secretly loved writing fiction, photography, reading Time and Newsweekand listening to non-Top music that I obsessively searched for on Napster. But I hid these interests from the world, because I knew I would be punished for being different.
After being punished socially for it, I would vow that I would never do that again. Are you hearing this? Because of Basic Bitches, I ignored perfectly nice people. I was actually pretty mean to nice people.
And you know what?
About ebrahim aseem
I hardly ever talk to the girls in my main group of friends from high school. But those not-quite-as-popular girls? I love them so much. I could have been a much better photographer by now, and a much better writer.
It only got worse in college. I came to college with a personality.
Why i personally loathe basic bitches
By the time I left, the Basic Bitches had turned me into one of their own. I mean, just think about the sorority system. It requires basic-ness. That means just like them. You have to dress like them, think like them, eat like them, act like them. And if you do this, plus have light-ish skin, they might make you their token black sorority girl. The whole point of sororities is to make anyone different feel like the scum of the earth.
Or sometimes, they just made the terrible mistake of being themselves.
I got into a downward spiral of self flagellation. Why did I have to keep volunteering in class with opinions? It was awful. I wanted to quit life. I wanted to curl into a ball and hide my personality from the world. Sometimes I wondered what it was that other people saw, to make them so actively dislike me.
I think I was only truly happy once I gave up trying, and dated a really nice, nerdy guy from an unpopular fraternity, and spent my lunches at the local hippie co-op instead of at the sorority house.
At least I got into the misfit sorority, an odd mix of ultra-religious girls, girls who liked to drop acid, and girls who could give a shit about sorority life. We were all non basic trying to masquerade as basics.
That was my saving grace. Then I graduated and moved to New York. And slowly, I started shedding my Basic Bitch layers. I jettisoned the Rainbows and North Face and sundresses, and started wearing what made me feel beautiful. I stopped listening to top 40, and instead listened to whatever music I liked, which happened to be deep house and indie rock. I started avoiding Basic Bitch bars, and going to more underground parties. I lost all my borderline eating disorder habits, and started eating like a healthy human being. I found love. I found friends. I found acceptance. I found myself.
Now, I am so fucking happy with my life. Well, some have those degrees. Others went to art school, or have master degrees, or … who the fuck cares?