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This is Not Suitable for Work NSFW and includes pictures that may make you uncomfortable but are essential to demonstrate the diversity within the kink community. Kink encompasses a variety of practices, and while some parts of this might turn you on, for others it is what turns them on or brings them general pleasure. Amazing Shibari rope work done, with no connection to sex.


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So how do you go from here, where you are, to there, where all those kinky people are? In other words, how do you actually the BDSM community? One of the biggest hurdles many people face when they begin their search for their place in the kink scene is letting go of the what they think the community is. That book - "Fifty Shades of Grey," if you have to ask - is also partially to blame, painting as it does a lifestyle that is closer to emotional and physical abuse than to the reality of being a member of the BDSM community. Not that other fiction authors have done a much better job. They, too, often ditch crucial things like negotiation and gloss over consent for the sake or erotic intensity.

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Aftercare — a period of time after play during which players check in and re-establish connections with each other. Aftercare is different for everyone, and can also involve alone time, or any of personal preferences. Aftercare is widely considered to be an essential part of kinky play. Ageplay — Roleplay involving a distinct difference in ages, and often power exchange based on those ages. BDSM — A modern acronym used to refer to the kink and fetish communities and activities. Can include rope bondage, suspension bondage, leather bondage, furniture and device bondage, predicament bondage.

Can be employed for dominance, sex, art, or anything you like.

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See also: Shibari. Bottom — A role referring to the person receiving sensation. One who receives sensation of action. See also: top.

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Breathplay is a topic of debate in many kink circles because of the difficulty of the risks involved; it is considered very dangerous, and falls into the category of edgepay. Canes can be made from many different materials, including different woods, plastics, or any semi-flexible material. The act of caning involves striking someone with a cane, usually across broad, fleshy areas of the body the butt, the backs of the thighs, etc. Caning is also popular across the bottoms of the feet. Collaring ceremonies are common in BDSM, and can range anywhere from a simple commitment or preference for wearing a collar, to a level of seriousness on-par with an engagement or marriage.

Consent — Saying yes! Saying yes please Sir or Madam! Consent is un-coerced, non-pressured, freely given permission. This is at the heart of all things kinky; consent is very, very important. See also: safewords. It is complex scene play, which usually has a pre-negotiated safeword and extensive discussion of boundaries and limits beforehand. During ConNonCon, the scene may have the outward appearance of being very violent, and without the consent of one party; essentially, a rape scene.

Consensual Nonconsent, while it can be very hot, can also be serious mojo to play with; approach with caution. Try it with some soft bed restraintsmrew.

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As the cups cool, they create a vaccuum, leaving a hicky-like bruising pattern across the skin. Dom me — A role identifying a person as dominant; to be on the controlling and decision-making side of power exchange male: Dom, female: Domme One who has, takes, or receives power. See also: submissive.

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Our Guide to Dominance Dungeon — A word referring to large group play spaces or places where play parties are held. Rarely are these actual dungeons.

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A dungeon often includes kink furniture spanking benches, st. Dungeons and play parties also have their own unique sets of rules and ettiquettes. Dungeon Master — A person responsible for safety in the Dungeon, usually an experienced member of the community, sometimes the host. They walk around, check in on different scenes, are responsible for ousting unsafe of inappropriate players etc. Edgeplay — A term for BDSM practices that are considered at the edge, inherently more risky, or debated within the community.

Welcome to the dungeon: how to the bdsm community

Included are: breathplay, choking, knifeplay, play peircing, bloodplay, fireplay, gun play, consensual nonconsent. Enema — The act of douching or cleaning the anal cavity and rectum. Can be a fetish preference. Fire Play — Play that involves the sensation, use, or threat of fire. Considered edgeplay. Fisting can be anal or vaginal. The tails can be made from various materials, such as leather, suede, or hair, often with wood or synthetic handles wrapped in the material of choice. Floggers come in many sizes, with any of tails and often specific names based on those s, such as a cat-o-nine-tails.

Hanky Code — Originally out of the gay leather scene, the hanky code uses different colors and materials of handkerchiefs bandanas to indicate areas of BDSM interest.

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Gorean — Based on the sci-fi novels by John Norman, Gorean households and couples follow a strict and traditional protocol, involving specific postures and rituals. See also: soft limit, limits. Impact play A category of sensation play, impact play is just what it sounds like, i. Including but not limited to spanking, slapping, caning, flogging, paddling, punching, hitting, etc.

Impacts chiefly produce two types of sensations — stings and thuds. A sting is a strike felt at the level of the skin.

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It is usually produced by a thinner, harder, or lower mass impact material. A thud is felt deeper into the muscle and is caused by a slower, heavier. The word whip usually refers to a long, thin leather tail attached to a handle — visually similar to a bullwhip. When used correctly this provides intense surface level stinging, it can also break the skin easily.

Understanding what’s real and what isn’t

The end of a whip can move very quicklyeven faster than the speed of sound. Do not touch a whip unless you have someone competent to mentor you. You can cut your partner up and even loose eyesight. Have someone watch your strokes and correct your motions. Practice on a pillow until you can confidently hit the spot you intend to hit with the intensity you planed to use every single time. Wear proper safety gear such as a wide brimmed hat to protect your eyes.

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A flogger is a collection of shorter leather pieces called falls attached to a handle. Depending on the material and style of play a flogger may feel more thuddy or more stingy, but will always disperse energy over a larger area than a whip and contain more mass — making the sensation more thud like. Risks from flogging include accidental blood letting, painful sensations from wrapping, physical damage and pain from a strike to the kidneys or other internal organs even a light strike will make the bottom instantly nauseateddamage to the neck, damage to the face, and loss of eyesight.

Florentine flogging is a very interesting variation where two floggers are used rhythmically.

How to find kinksters in your area

A dragon tail is a less common style that uses a single wide coiled piece of leather instead of a thin whip. These are easier to use than classic single tail whips because energy is dispersed over a wider surface area. However they can still be quite dangerous and should not be used without training. Some people enjoy being punched with a closed fist, but this is quite dangerous if you do not know what you are doing. The best way to learn is to take a martial arts class, preferably one with sparring.

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Other forms of impact play include bare handed spanking, slapping, paddlingcroppingand caning. Always aim for large muscular or fatty areas such as the thighs, buttocks, breasts, or arms. Avoid bony areas, particularly the tailbone and spine. Different areas and toys produce different sensations, so stay in communication with your partner and ask how each blow feels.

I recommend that beginners start slowly. You will have much more fun if you work slowly so that you always want a little more and are excited about the next session.

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Knife Play — Play involving the use, threat, or sensation of knives. Can sometimes indicate the feeling of pain as pleasure, or the simple enjoyment of pain as pain. Medical Play — play or scenes involving medical equipment, a medical aesthetic, and medical tools. Can be done with saran wrap, plastic, rubber, fabric, or with special equipment like vaccubeds.

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Needle Play — Play involving needles, or the threat of needles. See also: play piercing. Play parties differ in size, rules, and etiquette, but often involve dressing up or downvarious kink activities bondage, sadomasochism, and sometimes sex. Most play parties involve public play, where within the context of the party, couples or groups will play in front of whoever else attends. See also: Dungeon, dungeon master. Play Piercing — The practice of temporary piercing of the flesh, both for the sensation and aesthetic of piercing.

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