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We use cookies and other tracking technologies to provide services in line with the preferences you reveal while browsing the Website to show personalize content and targetedanalyze site traffic, and understand where our audience is coming from in order to improve your browsing experience on our Website. Mrutyuanjai Mishra is a commentator with Politiken, Denmark's largest newspaper. He also comments on Asia on Danish TV and radio channels.


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When one young woman asked for life advice in an online forum she got supportive messages from all over the world. I never thought that when I posted about how lonely I felt on social media that I would get responses from all over the world. All of a sudden, I had people giving me advice and offering to be my friend, and many of them said they felt the same way too, from time to time. I was feeling really lost when I wrote an anonymous essay in a Facebook group called Subtle Asian Traits. I felt that the people in the group might be able to understand me, because we're all from a similar cultural background.

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KIM November 15, Which begs the question: why?

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I sometimes ask that aloud. Nor should we feel obligated to constrain our options to Asian men. But too often, Asians are as guilty as anyone in refusing to see Asian men as sexual partners. What might just seem like a harmless non-preference for people of your own race may really just be the result of internalized self-racism. Apparently as Asians, we are, as a collective, small, meek and effeminate.

When asians say they’re not into asian men

Useful qualities for women, hence our charm! But not so for men. Perhaps you buy into other myths about Asians. Those are all unattractive qualities. But just as these stereotypes do not define you, they do not define the men who look like you. You might already know that these stereotypes are nonsense.

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How can you be, anyway, when you yourself are Asian? Growing up, most of the media I consumed was in English, so most of the romantic male le I was familiar with were white men in white movies. My experience with Asian males or males really was mostly limited to relatives and immature pubescent boys in my predominantly Korean school.

Why are western men marrying asian women?

So the white fictional characters that I fell in love with were my models for how I felt male partners should be. When there were Asian male characters in Western media, they were typically a source of comic relief — sometimes offensive — or some sort of professional like a doctor who was more or less an expositional prop.

They were at best likable, at worst stereotypical. They were rarely romantic, rarely sexy.

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But even representation within Asian media leaves something to be desired. In Korea, there are only so many different kinds of bodies entertainment industries favor, and lately, they like their men slim and androgynous.

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That may feed into the myth that Asian men are inherently small and effeminate. But remember that these men are only a sliver of the Asian male population.

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White men? The ugly truth is, some of our friends and family see having white friends as some sort of social advancement.

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Oh, you have white friends in college? Maybe people are more than ethnicities or cultures to reject or try. Sarah Y. She is the Opinions Editor.

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I was missing out when i refused to date asian men

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