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Romantic love is a key goal for many people. Falling in love with someone can feel exciting, even exhilarating. But over time, these feelings may settle into something that feels a little different.


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I know how it feels to believe this. I have felt this more times than I care to admit. The worst was when I fell in love with my ex-husband. He was twelve years my junior, from another country Greeceand barely spoke English. Our souls connected immediately, and I fell in love with him.

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But sometimes it really is over.

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All relationships require maintenance, so you may need to try a little harder in order to keep things fun and interesting by setting aside quality timetrying new things together, or even changing up your sex life. It can happen for all sorts of reasons: stressphysical health, or shifting relationship dynamics.

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A good litmus test for whether your inactive sex life is the product of a loss of interest in your partner? Ask yourself if you even want that spark back, says d counselor Nawal Alomari. What is my relationship to sex? If you start to realize that your one and only has become your one and only best friendthis might be a.

But if the best pal role has taken center stage and the partner status is questionable, you two may be holding on to a friendship instead of a romantic entanglement. How to tell the difference?

The difference between being in love and loving someone, according to experts

A friendship, on the other hand, will feel much less binding. That roommate feeling where you live totally separate lives under the same roof can also be a telltaleadds Bennett. Love can be blinding.

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So those quirks and eccentricities you used to love in your partner might now annoy you to no end. While some of this is normal as you grow closer and more comfortable with one another, Keeney says it can also drive you to cast your relationship in a negative light.

How to know when you've fallen out of love

Instead of viewing common mishaps as funny, she says you'll feel angry, frustrated, and resentful instead. Luckily, most of those issues can be addressed if you both put your minds to it, says Alomari. But if you no longer want to devote that time and affection to your partner, that can be a giveaway that the attraction is gonesays Bennett.

But if you have no desire to put in the work to reignite that attraction, Alomari says it may be time to go your separate ways. Do they bring out the best sides of you?

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If the latter, that could be a that you likewise feel unfulfilled by the relationship. Just like your feelings about your partner can change over time, your relationship preferences can also shift, says Wright.

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Maybe you still really want your ificant other to be a big part of your life, but as a friend instead of a lover or a more casual partner instead of a committed companion. Jonathan Bennettcertified counselor and dating expert at Double Trust Dating.

2. the butterflies have flown away

Rachel Wrightd psychotherapist and sexual wellness expert at We-Vibe. This article was originally published on March 8, By Sara Altschule and Kathleen Ferraro.

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Updated: May 27, Originally Published: March 8, You Want To Transition Your Relationship Just like your feelings about your partner can change over time, your relationship preferences can also shift, says Wright.