How to accurately read your love map.
Home Health Relationships. Building a successful marriage is a lifelong challenge. This is the honeymoon stage, when romance and intense attraction bond a couple together and lead to commitment. In retrospect, it often seems as short-lived as springtime—by two years, most couples have usually lost that initial magic, though this can vary by couple.
But when it is happening, the passion stage is very strong and ificant.
It is a wave of feel-good brain chemicals orchestrated by Mother Nature to make the two of you forsake all others and take action to ensure the survival of the species. Couples not only frolic and fall madly in love in the passion stage—they begin to establish the trust, respect and emotional intimacy that will support their relationship forever.
Here are 11 pieces of marriage advice from the s that still apply today. In this stage, the honeymoon ends, and a more real vision of the rest of your life together begins.
Disappointment and early conflicts are the hallmarks of this difficult, unavoidable period, as the two of you make the first steps toward accepting each other for who you really are. The mission and challenge? No less than laying the groundwork for a long future together based on acceptance, respect and openness to change. This creates a foundation for being truly known, understood and supported in the years ahead. She misses her friends; he misses his cool toys.
How to cope with these stages of grief?
She wants to travel; he wants to play weekly softball. She wants to build her career; he wants to build his career.
Even for couples who successfully navigate the realization stage of marriage and lay the foundation for a happy, respectful coexistence together, a time inevitably emerges when self-interest often overtakes the interests of the marriage. And when this happens, be ready for the battles. Love amid the power struggles of the rebellion stage is tricky business. Is this any way to run a marriage?
Stage one of marriage: passion
Experts say the drama of the rebellion stage are unavoidable. Learning the art of the good fight is the mission now—often it is the nature of the battles, rather than the substance of the discussion, that le to trouble. Rebellious thoughts, when met with anger and frustration, often lead to rebellious actions, such as infidelity, outlandish spending, or saying yes to the sudden offer from work to transfer to a new city.
Any of these can spell disaster for a marriage. Learn the 10 little-known ways marriage affects your health.
As marriages progress over time, they inevitably become more complicated. Careers grow, houses get bigger, personal commitments grow deeper, and children arrive.
In the cooperation stage, marriage takes on a business-like personality. Set aside all that love and emotion and personal-realization stuff: There are mortgages to be paid, investments to be handled, careers to be directed, health to be managed, and—first and foremost—children to be raised. These common marriage myths have been debunked once and for all! If you have children, the cooperation stage often lasts 10 to 20 years—then suddenly it is gone.
Your parenting commitments are lessened, your finances established, your career set, your mortgage paid. What then?
You're in. please check your .
For happy couples, it is a time to appreciate each other again, not as parents and providers but as lovers and friends, thinkers and seekers. That all sounds wonderful but this ideal is often hard to achieve.
The embers of passion need stoking; the disillusionment and distance of middle age need to be managed; the roles and expectations of the marriage need recalibrating. Saying these little phrases daily to your spouse could help you stay close. Job loss, major health problems, a move to a new city, financial troubles, the illness or death of a parent—as you pass through midlife and into the golden years, major life developments seem to come one upon the other.
In the explosion phase, either you, your spouse, or both of you are dealing with major, life-shaking events that could affect your relationship for a day, a year, or the rest of your lives. While the other six stages tend to occur in order, the Explosion stage can happen at any time in a marriage—though it happens most as we pass through our 40s and 50s. Confronted by a personal crisis, your marriage can be a source of solace or be sorely tried by the unexpected pressure of new roles, new limitations and new fears.
Stage two of marriage: realization
Letting your marriage see you through can be as simple as sharing daily joys, provided you sometimes practice the Zen-like art of putting aside fear and stress. Part of being a happy man is to never lose the boy within; the same goes for women-there is the spirit of a young girl inside, no matter how many wrinkles edge the eyes. Maintaining like love of life, laughter, nature, and each other is the real secret to a perpetually blessed relationship. It is also living in the present, not the past. In the completion stage of marriage, there is never a belief that the best times are over-they should always be today and tomorrow.
These seven communication skills can improve your relationship. We are no longer supporting IE Internet Explorer as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. Share on Facebook.
Save on Pinterest. Tweet this. Search terms Search form submit button. Photo: Shutterstock.
Claim your free e-book and discover your love map